It's late, but the cold of the night keeps me awake, suddenly my mind flashes back. Some new status in the facebook popping out in this cold friday nite, and it just knocked my head, really hard. Once again I realizing, how things are changing, nothings last forever. Specially human. And not one of us able to prevent it. What we have is only, a good old memories...
The status update is...more or less about friendship.
Once I felt it so close and almost like brotherhood, but now I don't even knew whether I remembered as part of it or not. I don't know is it because of me or just them, that make this not working as it used to be. I've done my part to fix it (at least according to my understanding, and I'm sure it's more that obvious for them to notice my actions). I've seen some of them also trying the same, even thou not all. But I don't know, is it a sincere or just bull crap to make conversation, it's just not working as used to be anymore...is it only some bullshit crap talk that they do to me? I truly don't know, but I believe my desire are sincere. I realize the needs of making friends, that's why I've tried to keep it wholeheartedly. But to bad I can't read their thought, is it the same like me or not.
I realize, ego is playing the biggest part on each of us, that's why I've tried to make it up first, I believe I've lowered my ego more than needed but still no respond. I think I just have to accept the reality of life, that friends come and go, sometimes when our interest are the same, then we can be like great friends. But when the interest are shifted/changing/not the same anymore, than we just...a friend, period. No matter how many contributions or sacrifices that you already done in the past to keep the friendship strong, when the interest are shifted...It makes no different.
One thing that keep me amaze, seem the taoism principal about yin and yang are working perfectly, balancing our life between yin and yang. When one of your side losses something, our subconscious seem forcing us to fill in the gap with other things, until its find the balances. That's really amaze me, how I can willingly to find a new friends without any comments, and its flowing pretty much not like when I've friends, seem like getting boost from our own subconscious. Yes, I've a new group of friends now, and it was fun, its different but still enjoyable. But I still waiting to be accepted as used to be and in any other groups also. Because I treasure friendship. A lot.
so this bring us to part 2 about friendship...
Who Is The Most Faithful/True Friends
It's already explained in the 1st part, that there's no such thing as true friends. But can we identified who is the most faithful among friends, someone who we can trust. Because it is our nature to communicate with each other of our own kind. Are there any formula to decide that he/she able to become the most faithful from any other of our friends? Apparently, Not. We must realize that they are human too, they have the same need as all of us, and sometimes people loose faith too and it become backfired to us who have faith in them. Some identifier that we can use as indicator is Interest. Only when we have the same interest than we can be a good friends and faithful, sometimes the level of priority also determining are u a truly friend or just a friend. One of our best/true friend, that having probability of reliability higher than others even having Interest in us, who are they? our parents. They're the most pure (in term of interest) for helping us. Because their interest is more mature than others, they don't have any interest to back-stab your, they don't have any interest to manipulate your life into something terrible, they don't have any interest to put you in danger. Yes there are some cases that parents do that (the opposite), but its a very small chances comparing to any other friends you know. There's to little evidence for us to judge our parents for having bad interest in us, since their giving almost everything (even life) to us, of course that is a huge/life time investment for them, how can it harm to us?
Sometimes, when we tried to become a good friends with our parent, we stumbled upon many differences with our parents, and you think that it because the era already changing, outdated, and not cool. Often we're more agree with our friend from the same age, because you think its more compliance with our thinking. You must remember that interest can be shifting, and often when you're not aware of that. You maybe still denying how could your true friend can do such thing. Well...It happen, Often ! the easiest example is when your best friend have a boyfriend/girlfriend. But I bet you will find it hard to proving that your parents having a bad intentions to you.
As a matter of fact. the era hasn't changed much. The basic purposes/needs/goals are still the same, men or woman still the same. The only changes are the packages but inside still the same. The men are still chasing the same fame, beauty, pride, etc and the woman still looking kindness, love, loyalty, etc. So please never under estimate their thinking, but try to put your shoes on them.
Manage/Maintain Your Friends
I think we agreed that we need to maintain our friends, often its from many different group of friends (community friends, sport friends, hangout friends, etc). Its not possible for us to entertain all of the groups at the same time, there will be a times when we need to prioritize which group we will attend when two or more clashed. Sometimes the groups interest are slightly different with your liking, some others are maybe to demanding to us. So how we able to maintain all of it?
What the first thing to do....blend in. It's easy to said but it cover a lot of aspect here. Before you can blend in, you need to understand/inspect how the community work, determine who are the leader, the adviser, the entertainer, the wiser, the bastards, and the leftovers. Then try to understand how the society works, how to communicate, which topics that turn them off or on, what are their liking, and how they do jokes.
Sometimes...decision that you take in your life especially relationship as boy/girlfriend, affecting your friendship as well, and may break the friendship. Maybe because one of them doesn't like your new boy/girlfriend or otherwise, or any other small reasons. I think we need to be ready for that, and always ready/alert in life that suddenly you can be come an alien by your own friends, since decision already made. That's why we must always realize that all is just temporary, we must be able to stand on our own, embrace the loneliness when you're alone. Utilize anything you have now to the max. Always remember that friends are come and go, all you need just start to mingle around in different environment or communities.
Our View On Friends
Cancelled
Online Friends Are Different With Friends
Cancelled
No comments:
Post a Comment